Dec 11, 2007

Being a Psychotherapist

When I was younger and deciding on a career path, after my first clinical experience, I thought: therapy is interesting, but I don't want to spend my lifetime listening to other people's problems! And yet, here I am, and loving every minute of it.

The most valuable thing I got from doing precisely this, listening to other people's problems and their ways of dealing with them, trying to figure out more constructive approaches, is that I have learned life strategies from each and every single individual I have spoken to.

First of all, it is more difficult to surprise me. I've met people who hide from ambulances, people who receive radiations from aliens and secret services, people whose role on earth is the secular war against the forces of Satan. Such stories may sound funny at first, but when you actually look at the person who's telling you all this, and you listen to what they say, their drama becomes obvious: their reality does not match up with everyone else's reality, they know people don't believe them, they know people make fun of them, and yet they have no way of escaping what they feel, hear and see. And if you try and put yourself in their position, you suddenly feel trapped: what do you do when you literally hear a voice that comes out of nowhere and tells you to join your relative in the grave, a voice that no one else hears, a voice that won't go away? And it scares you, and when you tell someone about it, they say you're crazy and mind their own business? And you know you're not crazy, because you can hear this voice clearly?

Another thing that I have learned from these extreme stories is that there is no rule for who develops a severe mental disorder and who doesn't (not to mention to nonpsychotic ones). I have seen people with a medical degree come in for treatment, as well as people with as little as 4 years of schooling altogether, people from rich families and people from poor families. And you should be very careful about mocking these people (not because they may hurt you, the great majority are harmless) but because you can develop one form or another of a severe mental problem at any age.

Most psychotherapy though focuses on depression and anxiety, and there are endless things to learn about the way humans think from only talking to people. The great plus one has as a therapist is that people do open up, and you are entitled to ask uncomfortable questions too - and you'll be shocked how well the picture fits together when you have all the pieces of the puzzle, and how effective your suggestions can become if you keep updating them with experience.

Dec 10, 2007

A thousand reasons to prove I'm worthless

People who go through times of depression have an amazing creative ability when it comes to finding reasons to prove they are worthless, incapable and generally bad people. It doesn't matter how many reasons one can find to show them it's not all black and white, they will find counterarguments and discard most positive statements immediately as being exceptions.

1. Break it down

The first step to change such thoughts, sometimes, is to break them down into more specific ideas. What exactly makes me worthless? Not having a job? Not having a life partner? Not being able to care for my children the way I would want to?

2. Analyze it

How realistic are my thoughts? Does not having a job really mean I'm worthless? Do I know of any other people I appreciate who have been in my situation? How did they deal with it? What could I do to change my situation in this regard? Which of these possibilities depend on me, and which depend on others? Make a list, and be specific.

3. Do it

Take the possibilities identified in step 2 and start doing those that depend exclusively on you: do internet research, write your resume, check the paper for job openings, ask friends, etc. Remember, it's normal to feel like you're lacking energy and motivation, but that's all part of the big picture of depression. Don't overdo it: take the items one at a time, and make sure you acknowledge and reward yourself for doing them.


It's time to make friends with yourself.

Dec 9, 2007

Intro

Hi, and welcome to this brand new blog. This blog is about us, the amazing human species and our absolutely fascinating ability to make our life more difficult than it needs to be. I have thought long and hard about whether to start a blog, what to write about and, perhaps most importantly, why to start a blog.

The thing is, clichee as it may seem, I want to make the world a better place. And as a psychologist, I am absolutely convinced that one way of achieving this goal is through producing better humans. But that depends inevitably on our ability to become better humans ourselves, and to teach our children to follow our footsteps. I don't claim to have found the ideal recipe for making people better, but I would like this blog to become a floor for discussions.

I believe that our happiness depends very much on the way we perceive the world, and this, in turn, depends on the attitudes we have regarding ourselves, others, the world, our past, present, future, jobs, friends, animals, global warming, you name it. And every day I meet people who, due to their dysfunctional attitudes, go through years of suffering, take medication and don't seem to be much better off. And then, I tell them things that seem so obvious to me - and probably to many others as well - and sometimes I manage to change their attitudes from mainly negative ones to more balanced worldviews, and - who would have thought! - they report feeling happier!

So this is what I have in mind. Sharing opinions and thoughts and seeking ways of improving ourselves. I hope you'll enjoy.