O: You see, the problem is I don't know who I am anymore...
Me: In what sense?
O: I don't know what I like, what I don't like... I didn't use to be like this. How do you know what you like? How do you get to know yourself?
***
In college, I once had an assigment to write an essay on the "self". This was one of the most frustrating things I ever had to do, but it also taught me an important lesson: there is not one thing that defines me as being me, it's rather a whole pile of things that would make me understand who I am. We're always looking for something permanent, unchangeable, something that we can always get back to and say: this is me.
Let's say I am my body. If I compare photos of me at age 2 and me at age 45, I will conclude that my body is not unchangeable and I am definitely not what I used to be years ago, in terms of my body. Let's say I am my memories. Should I suffer an accident and get amnesia, would that transform me into someone else?
We could play this game with pretty much everything we can think of to define us, and we would still not get much further. So I concluded that I am my body + my memories + my preferences + things I don't like + my friends + my family + my education + my career + my accomplishments + my failures + ... + n, and I've come to realize that accepting both the good and the bad parts makes me know myself. I know how I'll react in different situations, I can imagine liking or not liking something, I can imagine changing my views given certain conditions, and nothing comes as much of a surprise, mainly because I allow myself to be a permanently changing living organism.
Let's say I am my body. If I compare photos of me at age 2 and me at age 45, I will conclude that my body is not unchangeable and I am definitely not what I used to be years ago, in terms of my body. Let's say I am my memories. Should I suffer an accident and get amnesia, would that transform me into someone else?
We could play this game with pretty much everything we can think of to define us, and we would still not get much further. So I concluded that I am my body + my memories + my preferences + things I don't like + my friends + my family + my education + my career + my accomplishments + my failures + ... + n, and I've come to realize that accepting both the good and the bad parts makes me know myself. I know how I'll react in different situations, I can imagine liking or not liking something, I can imagine changing my views given certain conditions, and nothing comes as much of a surprise, mainly because I allow myself to be a permanently changing living organism.
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